I've been reading a lot of different blogs lately. Then it dawned on me today, I've not been taking time to post on my own. 

I never began my blog with any ideas of generating a large group of followers. Actually, I originally used it to vent, while hiding from those that did know me.  I'm not too sure if that's changed for me or not. I've lost most of my grammar skills and I tend to be self conscious over my abilities in this respect to the point of losing the initial enjoyment of just free thinking.

However...today it is not hitting me this same way. So, here we go...nothing profound, just a few thoughts...

Gardening is frustrating me, while at the same time it's fulfilling a need to grub in the dirt. I do not like that I no longer have the strength in my fingers and wrists that I used to have....tried using a small hand spade last night and it was like I was attempting to dig in concrete!! arghhh!!! now, for many years my intentions were to switch out the dirt in this plot....but, always had perennials I was afraid to lose in the process. That's going to change this week when I get Scott to flip this around for me. Going to dig up and pitch some of this concrete and add some decent soil into this small garden area. I pulled out those perennials and have some new flowers ready to go in. Also, having some troubles with locating plants I want. Part of this is just moving my butt out of this chair to go look...but, the other is not finding them when I do manage to go looking. Today just might be that day for me to get on with the hunt.

I have 3 b'days looming. One present I know what I want, but out of what I've found, I'm not in love with any of those. But, the time for the giving is soon upon me! yikes!!  the other two...I just decided about 30min ago on one...pricier than I'd planned, but a guaranteed hit. The final one...clueless!!  too many years of gift giving gone by...."been there, done that, don't want another" syndrome raising it's ugly head!!

One of my sweetest blessings this last year has been the discovery of so many really good Christian bloggers for me to explore. I grew up handicapped with the idea that being blase about life, cynical about motives..untrusting of most....was the way to live. Even after coming to know Christ. It, by then, had become a very bad habit. Coming to the realization that there are true hearted people out here...honestly attempting to live in a way that only honors God with their witness of Him in their lives and wanting to share this with like minded people. And, actively being sweet in their speech and in their responses to others was not something faked. Now, I do realize that there are fake spirits...these, though, just go about their business without having time or need to be untrue. I've also realized that many of my experiences throughout my walk have only been superficial. I had a need to stay on the surface. Which went directly against my desires to come to know my Lord in a deeper and more honest way. So, I'm studying, trusting more and fighting old habits more, too. Attempting to not take back burdens I've turned over...learning lessons I've taught to others of letting the Spirit control the attitudes and the results.

'K...I need to get some things done here other than just meditating...If there is anyone on here reading along with this...well, bless your heart!! Give a little prayer for the two of us and let's go away from here and get some other things accomplished  for now! ;0)